Noise and Neighbours!

I was once trying to get some sleep after a busy night shift as a nurse. My neighbour in the downstairs flat had gone away, but forgotten to turn off her music system, which, as it turned out, she also used as an alarm. At 9am, I was awoken by the sound of Van Morrison’s “ Brown-Eyed girl” playing at full blast - clearly her wake up call of choice. As an avid VM fan, I wouldn’t have minded, except that it was so loud it was making our walls vibrate, and - even worse - was on a repeat loop. It was sheer torment, hearing the same song over and over again until about midday, when inexplicably it stopped and peace finally reigned. But my chances of a decent amount of sleep were wrecked and I was crying with frustration and tiredness. In the 20 or so years since this incident, listening to “Brown-Eyed Girl” has never been quite the same again! Loud music, a yapping dog or a lively party - most homeowners and tenants are confronted with the dilemma of noisy neighbours at some time in their lives. Noise from neighbours can be both disturbing and distressing and, with emotions running high, if not dealt with promptly and carefully the problem can escalate and relationships deteriorate. Whether our neighbours are noisy or we are on the receiving end of a complaint for being noisy, there are good and not so good ways of tackling the problem. A bit of ‘emotional intelligence’ goes a long way! Here are some tips on how to resolve a noise issue and still be in harmony with your neighbours. If your neighbours are being noisy….

Sleep on it. Or go for the ‘If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em’ option, and get up and read a book or watch a film. If you try to tackle your noisy neighbours at 2am, it can be the recipe for an angry, acrimonious confrontation. A quiet word the next morning is generally more advisable.
Face-to-face is best. Most people respond better to a polite verbal request than a note of complaint through their letterbox. Keep the mood light. Build bridges, not walls.
Look forward, not back. Criticizing your neighbours for something that happened yesterday is far less productive than asking them, in a nonconfrontational way, to be a bit more considerate of your needs in future. “I wonder if, the next time you are throwing a big party, you could let us know ahead of time…”
Record the noise. If the noise problem continues, the best way to make your neighbours realise how much their noisy behaviour is invading your space is to confront them with clear evidence in the form of a recording. They may get the message and, anyway, the recording will stand you in good stead if legal steps have to be taken later on.
Enlist the help of your other neighbours. If you are the only person in your area complaining about a noisy neighbour, you can easily be perceived as unreasonable or paranoid. But if three or four neighbours agree there is a noise problem that has to be tackled, you will be in a much stronger position.
Complain to the local council. Councils have a statutory duty to investigate noisy behaviour deemed to be a nuisance and, in the case of persistent infringements, can issue abatement orders. The most serious cases can result in fines. But you should prepare your grounds – keeping detailed notes of dates and times, etc – before contacting the council. And don’t jump straight to this option before you have tried talking with your neighbours face to face to resolve the issue. If your neighbours are complaining about you being noisy:

Listen to their complaints. Interrupting or immediately jumping to your defence will only stir emotions up even more. You need to try and understand each others point of view. There may even be reasons you were unaware of which made your noise particularly distressing for your neighbours. Stay calm and let them talk.
Apologise Even if you don’t think you were that noisy. You can always say “I’m sorry you felt we were too noisy” or “I’m sorry we disturbed you”. An apology will go a long way to defusing the situation.
Agree a plan This might include days and times when you mutually agree to be quiet, perhaps even an agreed number of parties a year each. It is always polite to give neighbours advance notice if you are going to have a noisy party.
Take responsibility for your guests. If you are the tenants, you are responsible for your own noise and behaviour, and that of your guests. If your guests are behaving in an anti-social way, take control and take action. Don’t let them spoil your reputation and relationships with your neighbours. Whether its you or your neighbour complaining:
- Email your property manager. Either way, its best if they hear about the complaint from you first. Make sure you give a clear and detailed record of what happened and what you have done to try to put it right. We can’t wave a magic wand to solve noise problems, but we are here to advise and support you.
- Be prepared to participate in mediation. In the case of a long-running dispute between neighbours about noise, mediation can sometimes be the best way for the two parties to inch towards an understanding of each other’s position. The most important thing, when dealing with a noise issue, is to communicate face to face and try to solve it in a calm, friendly manner. Be patient and considerate, listen to each other and then stick to what you’ve both agreed. And never, ever leave your favourite song playing full blast on repeat loop for your neighbours to endure……..

mr bean Watch Mr Bean: Noisy Neighbour